Raising DIY Children

Taking care of the home, giving quality time to my family, preparing educational lessons for daughters, and being loyal to my customers are all important. So it is imperative that in areas where I can teach my children how to be self-sufficient, I do, and it began early. There is time put into this teaching, but with children absorbing like sponges and having the innate desire to be independent, the time put in is worth it. There are three things that should always be consistent when teaching children how to be self-sufficient: "heads up", praise, supervision. Below are a few situations and tips on helping your child become more independent, which in turn may free up your time to complete all other important task.

Pacifier
My first born child loved sucking on pacifiers. At the age of two, I decided that she would get rid of it. I wanted her to learn how to lull herself to sleep without it. One month before her second birthday, I began telling her that on her birthday she would walk to the trash can and throw the pacifier away. Everyday I reminded her and showed her the trash can. When the birthday arrived we followed through. For the first week at bedtime she would ask about the pacifier, but also recalled, "Pacie is in the trash." I would confirm, "Yes, Pacie is in the trash. You are going to go to sleep without Pacie." I would lay there with her until she fell asleep. After a week, she no longer needed me....nor Pacie. She would jump into bed, lay there for a few minutes, and lull herself to sleep.

Potty Training
I started training my children on how to use the potty close to the age of two. Well, my first child had a potty, my second child started on the toilet. After meals I would sit them on the potty/toilet and instructed them to stay seated until urine or bowel movement would come out. Now this did not always work...this was my biggest challenge, but we all persevered. Eventually they got it! Now for how to get them to wake up to use the toilet (age 3). Purchasing Pull-Ups became costly! I told my children that mommy would wake them up in a few hours to use the toilet. I had to be consistent, so for a month I set my clock to wake up at 1 am to put them on the toilet. Each week I would increase the time, 2 am, 3 am. Eventually dry Pull-Ups in the morning! They were waking themselves up at night to use the toilet, but, "Moooomy, I need you to wipe me", hmmmm, next phase.

Teaching my children how to wipe themselves after using the toilet wasn't all out of the need for them to be independent, but for safety. In all honesty, I did not want anyone else touching them. For years they would wipe themselves after making urine, but my husband and I would wipe them after making bowel movement. Knowing that my children would be attending day camp (age 6), the need for them to learn how to wipe themselves completely became my mission. So for a month with me sitting in the bathroom with them, I observed their wiping technique and hand-washing technique.

Bathing
Bath time is always fun time with children, but when your back can't take it anymore and you need to get dinner on, the need to teach your child to bathe becomes top priority. At the age of four I began to instruct my children on how to bathe themselves properly: saturate washcloth, suds up the washcloth, feel how mommy is rubbing your skin, you rub the same way, clean behind your ears, this is how you clean your vagina, this is how you clean your rectum, do not clean your rectum and then clean your vagina (explained why), if you do, rinse washcloth out with soap before cleaning your vagina, get between those toes and under those arms. After instructing with hands-on, I allowed them to apply what they learned as I observed, once satisfactory I no longer was needed.

Now at age 9 and 8 my children set their own schedule as to when to take a shower. They also set their timers, because they no the importance of conserving water.

Domestication
As toddlers most children are always eager to help mommy with the dusting and folding up clothes. I incorporated those home keeping skills into my children's lessons. Now at age 9 and 8 they dust the house from top to bottom (sometimes without me asking). On Thursdays they do all the laundry. They were instructed on load size, cycles, measuring of detergent, and dryer settings. Their folding skills have improved tremendously. Helping with the up keep of the home brought about another desire within my children...cooking. So after instructions (and supervision) on how to prepare certain foods, they will soon be on their way to making full meals.

Teaching my children how to be self-sufficient has brought about great confidence within them. They have shown independence on so many other fronts too.

Can you imagine the time that is freed up for you to handle other aspects in your life? Can you imagine the quality time spent together due to this type of teamwork? If you have a child at this stage in life, I encourage you to implement some of the tips above.